Fate
by jasperskitty
Summary: An offshot-story to ABSOLUTION. Story is told from Sookie's POV ...
1. Preface

**A/N: This is basically the same story as "Absolution", only from Sookie's point of view. When I was writing the first chapters of "Absolution", I sometimes felt the need to include Sookie's POV, but since it is Eric's story, I thought it might be better to write a whole separate story instead.**

**So the contents aren't new, but there will be some things explained … some more details revealed …**

**I hope, you like it …**

**Enjoy!!!**

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Preface

We all stood up, when Nan Flannigan and her associates left the room. Godric was just about to leave too, when Eric put himself in his way.

"No," Eric said, having to look down at Godric, because he was that must taller than his maker. If the atmosphere hadn't been that tense I might have laughed at the sight. As it was I remained silent and just watched.

"Look in my heart …" Godric replied in a calm voice.

But Eric didn't let him finish. "You have to listen to me …"

"There is nothing to say."

"There is!" Eric stressed.

"On the roof." Godric just said, and left without another word.

_On the roof … but it is close to sunrise? He won't do it, will he?_

Eric just stood there, looking sort of lost. I barely noticed Bill walking away from me, because I was kind of lost in my thoughts. When I finally realized that Bill had moved, I thought he was about to lead Godric out. But then he stopped at the door and turned, facing Eric.

"We got a score to settle." Bill said, in a menacing voice. Eric turned to face him.

_Bill now is not the time …_

"Not know." Eric mirrored my exact thoughts. He sounded so sad, and tired, and clearly not in the mood for a fight.

"Yes now!" Bill retorted, and without a warning he punched Eric right in the face. I hadn't seen that one coming and neither had Eric apparently. Or he had, but just didn't care. I was so stunned that I could move or say anything. I knew that Bill had every right to get revenge for what Eric had done to me, but I wished he'd chosen another time for this. I was surprised to see that Eric didn't react like I expected him to. He just spit out some blood and faced Bill again, staying calm.

"Have I made my point?" Bill pressed, his voice still threatening.

Eric answered in a quiet, almost dead voice. "It's done. I'm part of her now."

There was no regret in his statement, not that I'd expected that. He was only stating a fact.

Both vampires faced each other for a moment, and then Eric commanded. "Get out of the way."

Reluctantly Bill stepped aside, letting Eric pass and closing the door firmly behind him. Bill walked into the other room, and I followed him.

He stood with his back to me, facing the window.

"I'm going to find Godric." I stated, cautiously, because somehow I knew that Bill wouldn't approve.

"None of this has anything to do with us. Godric is not your concern." He replied.

"If it weren't for him I wouldn't be standing here. He is in pain. He's suffering. I gotta do something." I justified myself. I could sense that he didn't understand the reason behind my decision.

"Don't you think we've done enough for Dallas?" Bill asked incredulously.

"You of all people should understand how he feels. What if it were you, Bill? What if in eighteen hundred years you were Godric?" I tried to explain.

For a moment he looked like he really was considering my reasoning. "Alright but I'm coming with you."

"I wish you could. But it will be dawn in a little while." I replied, caringly.

"If we don't stay long I'll heal." He tried to convince me.

"I will not take that chance. With Godric there, you don't have to worry about me." I assured him. Of course I didn't want him to take a chance of getting hurt, but the main reason for rejecting his offer was that I didn't want him to be there, because he didn't want me to do this in the first place … because he just didn't get it … because Eric would be there … and …

"You are so tenderhearted." Bill said lovingly. "You feel obligated I can see that. Sookie in all honesty what can you do for him?"

"I don't know. I just gotta be there. It doesn't make sense … but you understand?" I asked, hoping he would.

"I do." He said, but I knew he didn't mean it. He tried but he just couldn't grasp the reason behind my decision.

There was nothing more I could think of to say, to make my point, so I just kissed him tenderly, and left the hotel room.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading. Tell me if you want more.**


	2. Bystander

**A/N You wanted more ... well there you go.**

**Enjoy!!!**

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Bystander

"_Sookie in all honesty what can you do for him?"_

I answered Bill's question truthfully. I didn't really know. All I knew was that I owed Godric some gratitude for saving me from Gabe … if it hadn't been for Godric this sorry excuse for a human would have raped me, maybe even killed me. Unfortunately, there hadn't been time before now, to speak to him … at least not in private.

So this would be my last chance, if he really was going to do what I thought he'd planned to do …

I knew there wasn't much time left. The sun would be up in a few minutes. I hurried along the hallway, finally reaching the staircase which led to the hotel roof. I quickly moved up the stairs, coming to a sudden halt at the end of it. I stayed there, making no sound to announce my presence, because I didn't want to interrupt the conversation between the two vampires.

Eric was standing a few feet away from Godric, who was already facing the east. He really was going to meet the sun after all. Of course I already knew that, but even now I was wishing I had been wrong with my conclusion. I wished it for Eric's sake … odd, but still true.

"Why are you doing this?" Eric asked, confused and disbelieving. It was obvious that he wasn't able to see the reason in Godric's plan.

"Two thousand years is enough." Godric stated calmly, just matter-of-factly.

_He is sick of this life … he cannot see a future … wow … I'd never thought a vampire would feel that way … but what do I know … I'm only in my twenties … two thousand years …_

"I can't accept this. It's insanity!" Eric shouted angrily. The fear of losing a family member, a friend was palpable in his voice.

"Our existence is insanity. We don't belong here." Godric replied in a calm, but resolved voice. I could hear that there was nothing Eric could say to convince him otherwise. He had made up his mind.

"But we are here!" Eric snapped at his maker. He was fighting … he wouldn't let go.

_Oh Eric …_

"It's not right. We're not right." Godric responded, still calmly.

"You taught me there is no right or wrong. Only survival … or death." Eric reminded him stubbornly. For once he sounded like a child … which he was … if only technically.

"I told a lie, as it turns out." Godric's voice was grave, layered with ancient grief and regret. He sounded so tired. I realized that Godric actually believed that he was at the end of his road … that this was the only way to end his suffering.

"I will keep you alive by force." I heard Eric threatening, desperately trying everything he could think of. In this he was like Bill … he just couldn't understand Godric's situation, his decision … his feelings …

"Even if you could, why would you be so cruel?" Godric asked his child, his voice layered with sorrow. Of course I couldn't be sure, but I hoped that Godric actually felt sympathy for Eric's pain.

Eric suddenly switched to another language, and although I couldn't understand anything, from his voice I could imagine what he was saying. I've never seen Eric so vulnerable before … so lost … he was actually pleading with Godric. My heart broke for him … something I thought I would never feel.

Whatever Godric replied, it wasn't what Eric wanted to hear. I was stunned to see Eric fall on his knees, to hear him begging under tears …

Tears from Eric … I'd never anticipated, I would become a witness to something like this. I was astounded to see that he was capable of showing this kind of emotion.

_Maybe the Eric in my dream actually does exist underneath his protective shield? Maybe he is a big faker after all?_

Eric cried in earnest now … in that moment I was really glad Bill wasn't here with me. I knew he would enjoy seeing Eric like this, in this weak state … and I was sure Bill would rub it in any way, any time he could. Damn vampires, damn men … why did they have to be so immature sometimes?

"Let me go." Godric requested.

"I won't let you die alone." Eric declared with total conviction.

_What? He is planning to die with Godric? Why? … No!_

Before I could panic, Godric's next words were calming me down at once. "Yes, you will."

Eric's reaction to those words totally differed from mine. While I felt comforted, he felt rejected. He started crying again. Godric laid one of his hands on Eric's head, trying to soothe his child. It was weird to see a vampire acting so human … but I liked to see this kind of gesture, because that sight confirmed it. They were capable of feeling … even if they tried their best to deny or hide it.

"As your maker … I command you." Godric said, with a small smile on his face.

That was it, I knew it. A command from his maker … this was something Eric couldn't ignore, he had to follow it, that much I'd figured out yet about this kind of relationship. And Godric knew that Eric needed to hear him say this, to force him to go on with his life.

As much as it pained me, that Godric was about to meet his final death, I couldn't deny the relief I was feeling. I didn't know why I felt that way, but I didn't want Eric to die …

Eric stood up in silence. Everything had been said, he knew there was nothing more he could say to Godric … not even a goodbye.

He turned his back on his master, walking towards me. He wasn't the least bit surprised to see me there, or he just didn't show it. But I could see the pain in his eyes. Red streams of bloody tears on his cheeks … He looked so forlorn, I had to restrain myself from hugging him in comfort.

One last time Eric glanced back at Godric, who was facing the east again. I grabbed his hand very gently, intending to draw his attention back to me.

"I'll stay with him," I promised him, my tone of voice soft and caring. "As long as it takes."

Eric didn't respond, just nodded in agreement. I was glad that he didn't mind that I was here. We shared one last look, then he made his way downstairs, which was a good idea, because the sun was about to rise. He didn't need the physical pain after this emotional rollercoaster.

I cautiously made my way towards Godric, joining him on the centre of the rooftop.

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**A/N Is this what you'd thought Sookie was thinking and feeling? Tell me ... I am curious to know ;-)**


	3. Goodbye

**A/N Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**Enjoy!!!**

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Goodbye

"It won't take long," Godric commented on my last words I'd said to Eric. "Not at my age."

I didn't know if those words were meant to comfort me or if he was just reassuring himself. I just couldn't imagine that it would make any difference in the end, the pain of burning alive … but he seemed sure and content with his decision.

"You know … it wasn't very smart … the Fellowship of the Sun part." I said, wording it carefully, because I didn't want to chide him for his actions. I had been very impressed with Godric's behavior … at the church … and later in his nest, especially the way he stood up for me in front of that Lorena bitch. He was so nice to all the humans at the church, despite their evil plan to burn not only him but me and Eric if they'd had the chance. It was a strange behavior … so unnatural for a vampire …

"I know," Godric admitted, not the least bit discomforted, only sad. "I thought it might fix everything somehow … but I don't think like a vampire anymore."

"Do you believe in God?" Godric asked me, looking at me directly.

"Yes." I answered, my voice slightly trembling.

"If you're right … how will he punish me?" For the first time he seemed a little concerned.

"God doesn't punish … God forgives." I clarified, and it was what I believed.

And my words seem to have a calming effect on Godric. "I don't deserve it … but I hope for it."

"We all do." I said. _Even me._

"You will care for him? Eric?" Godric asked, slightly nodding his head in the direction of the stairs.

What a weird request? What could_ I_ do for Eric? And would he appreciate any help from me … aside from using me because of my unusual talent? My curse …

_Doubtful …_

"I'm not sure … you know how he is." I tried to explain. I wasn't about to deny Godric's last wish … if that's what it was, but I didn't want to lie either.

"I can take the blame for that too." Godric said, sounding amused by my statement. I was not surprised. Eric was his child after all. I was sure that they knew each other pretty well, considering Eric's age … at least for thousand years.

"Maybe not …" I countered, smiling. "Eric is pretty much himself."

_Ruthless … mean … vindictive … only thinking of himself … The list goes on and on. But what if there is more to him? The way he looked … so sad … so hurt …_

But now was not the time to ponder over Eric's strange behavior. I pushed it away to deal with it later.

"Are you very afraid?" I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.

"No," Godric answered, laughing in bewilderment. "No, I'm full of joy."

I was impressed by his strength of will. Godric was actually looking forward to meet his end … and he had chosen _this_ way to accomplish his goal …

"But the pain …" I said, my voice breaking. I didn't know Godric very well, but the way I'd got to know him, he was pretty decent for a vampire. And I sort of cared for him, I owed him …

"I want to burn!" Godric emphasized, trying to assure me, that he was serious about his choice.

Maybe it was the easiest way to die … the fastest way for a vampire. What did I know?

"Well … I'm afraid for you." I confessed, choking. I couldn't hold my tears back anymore, and I didn't want to. They were running down my cheeks …

"A human with me at the end … and human tears … two thousand years and I can still be surprised." Godric said in awe, laughing in wonder. "In this I see God."

I thought this was a nice parting line. He sounded so happy, and sure. Then he turned towards the east again, shedding of his shirt. I could see smoke begin to rise from his body, as the first rays of sunlight touched his skin. He walked slowly to the edge of the roof, spreading his arms, almost like he was welcoming the sun … and his final death.

I was too stunned by the picture. I couldn't say another word, only cry.

"Goodbye, Godric." I whispered, sobbing.

I saw blue flames, as the sunlight devoured Godric. He had been right. It took only seconds, and then Godric was gone. The only thing left was his shirt, now lying on the ground where Godric had been standing just moments ago.

I didn't know how long I had been standing there, looking at the now vacant space, and watching the sun rise. I was tired, and I knew I should go back to my hotel room. I wouldn't be surprised if Bill had stayed awake, awaiting my return. I hoped that he didn't. For two reasons … one I didn't want him hurting himself for no good reason … and secondly I wasn't in the mood to share, to talk about what had happened, because I knew Bill wasn't able to feel that kind of sympathy …

I slowly turned around, walking towards the staircase that led down. I was carefully watching my steps. It wasn't very bright down here, and my vision was still a little muddled because of all the tears I shed, so I first didn't see that there was someone sitting at the end of the staircase.

I came to a sudden halt, when I finally recognized the person sitting there, with his head on his knees was Eric. I clearly hadn't expected him to be here. What was he thinking?

"Eric!" I cried in surprise. "What are you still doing here?"

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**A/N Good? Bad? Shall I continue? Let me know …**


	4. Disclosure

Disclosure

Eric sat crouched at the end of the staircase, nothing like his usual magnificent self. He didn't give me an answer, but he lifted his head slowly, thus acknowledging my presence.

_Wow … he really is a mess … _I thought, horrified by his appearance. His face was blood-stained from his tears. There were even some drops on his shirt. He simply looked forlorn.

"Eric, are you okay?" I asked although I could already see that he was not.

"Godric is gone," Eric mumbled so low, I was barely able to hear it.

"I know … I'm so sorry, Eric." I said, and my sympathy was heartfelt. For once I ignored the fact, that he was a vampire, a very proud vampire at that, and I laid a hand on his shoulder, patting his upper arm in a comforting way. For me it was a natural act. I would comfort anybody like that who'd just lost someone. "Come on … you have to go to your room … you need to rest."

Eric reached out, grabbing my offered hand and let me help him get back to his room. Of course, physically I wasn't much help … as he was so tall and heavy … but he leaned on me nevertheless, needing my assistance, because he was already a little weak on his feet.

When we finally reached his room, which was right next to mine and Bill's, Eric pulled out the keycard out of his jeans. I watched him fumble with it for a moment. I suppressed a sigh because I didn't want to antagonize him in his current state and took the keycard out of his trembling hands, opening the door to his room by myself. Eric stumbled in after me. His hotel room was similar to mine, so I knew where the bedroom was supposed to be. I led him into it, watching Eric plop on the edge of the bed in a very ungracious way.

I wasn't sure if I should leave him here all alone, if he wanted me to leave. But he made no indication in any direction, so I sat down right beside him.

"Sookie?" Eric said, cautiously.

"Yes." I replied calmly, turning my head to face him.

His intensive glare made me a little nervous, but I held his gaze. It almost felt like that _he_ was trying to decipher _my_ thoughts for a change, or at least trying to read something in my eyes.

"Why did you come up to the roof?" He finally asked.

I smiled at him sympathetically. I could see that he was confused by my actions, just like Bill had been.

"I thought I owed him that … after he'd first rescued me from Gabe … and then again from Lorena." I explained, cringing slightly, when I remembered my encounter with both of them. I was glad that Gabe was dead, but Lorena was not … and I really hoped I would never have to see Bill's maker again. At least not on my own … considering how mad she'd been about my words.

I had to admit that I was greatly surprised to discover that Eric had had a totally different relationship with his maker. It was hard to believe that Eric actually cared about someone else but himself. The Eric I had become acquainted with was devious, manipulative, and cruel … under normal circumstances, and now he was acting so … so _human_.

Before I could stop myself, I added, "And to be honest I was a little worried about you too … I know what he'd meant to you."

Eric gave me a puzzled look, shaking his head. Even without being able to hear his exact thoughts, I knew perfectly well what he was thinking.

I laughed quietly. "Yeah … you probably think that I'm a fool … for acting this way after what happened last night."

"I don't think that you are a fool." Eric contradicted me, and oddly I believed him. "But I still don't understand _why_ you care at all."

"You are not the only one …" I said thoughtfully, remembering earlier Bill's reaction when I'd told him, what I was going to do. Why was it so hard for both of them to comprehend why I cared? Was it because they were vampires or because they hated each other?

_Probably both …_

"Bill?" Eric guessed.

"Yes. He wasn't too thrilled when I told him after the meeting that I was going to find Godric. For Bill our work here was done …" I explained, shaking my head sadly. "I know Bill tries to understand my behavior, my choices … but I don't think that he can …not …"

I stopped midsentence, shocked by my own admission.

_What am I doing? Sharing my thoughts and doubts with Eric? What's wrong with me? This is not the Eric from my dream … even if this Eric is acting similar …_

I realized that Eric was watching me very closely. Before this silence could get even more awkward, I quickly continued. "But considering what all had happened in the last few days … the kidnap, the almost rape, the bomb … Can you blame him for objecting?"

"No." Eric admitted, surprising me again. I knew that he could be very blunt sometimes, but actually telling the truth? That was a new experience for me.

"When he hears that you are here with _me_ … Well, I wouldn't be surprised if he will try to punch me again." Eric commented, with a superior smile on his face.

_Men!_

"Maybe … but to be honest I think Bill had every right to do it." I said, sheer out of annoyance. I didn't mean it, but I wanted to wipe this annoying grin of his face. Apparently I was successful, because Eric stopped laughing at once and gave me look, that was … apologetic?

I was stunned again by his bizarre demeanor. Who was this man beside me? Why did I feel so safe and comfortable with this vampire all of the sudden? Was it because he was showing me a total different side of him, a side I could probably learn to like?

I took a deep breath, and finally confessed with some uncertainty. "But I wish he would have chosen another time for his macho revenge thing."

I told the truth, but I wasn't sure what it might cost me. Eric just smiled in answer. It was a sweet smile. The Eric in my dream had the same smile …

But after a moment his demeanor changed again, and he looked at me very intently.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked again.


	5. Comfort

**A/N Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am glad to see that at least some of you are as equally interested as I am to dip into Sookie's mind … for a change ;-)**

**Enjoy!!!**

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Comfort

I frowned, torn between annoyance and surprise. I thought I've explained my reasons to him very thoroughly. But apparently that hadn't been the case.

"Why do you keep asking me that question? I've already told you … I was worried."

"But you despise me." Eric stated, simply and bluntly.

Oddly, I felt hurt when I heard him say those words. Of course after all that he'd done to me … to Bill … to Lafayette, it wouldn't be so farfetched if I would actually feel that way. I had told Bill that I hated Eric, but that wasn't actually the case. At that precise moment I had been simply infuriated with Eric's behavior and to be honest with myself … for being so easy to manipulate, to get tricked into doing something I wouldn't have done willingly if I had known the consequences. What I'd actually meant was that I hated Eric for what he had done, not him personally. I knew that now.

"No, Eric," I contradicted him, shaking my head sadly. I didn't know why, but I didn't want him to think of me that way. "I don't hate you. I may not like you very much because … well … let's face it you _are_ an asshole most of the time. But …"

I bit my tongue. I'd flashed back to my dream again. I knew that the Eric sitting beside me wasn't the one in my dream, but even though I got the impression that part of this dream version of him was real, but I wasn't going to share this revelation with the real Eric.

I rephrased my answer. "But despite the tension in our relationship, I don't believe anymore should be left alone with their grief … because I know what it feels like when you lose somebody you'd loved."

I remembered the murder of my grandmother, and how I'd felt then. Lost, alone, afraid … and somehow I got the impression that right this moment Eric was feeling similar … perhaps not afraid, but lost and alone, with no one around to share his grief with.

"I thought that you may want to talk about Godric," I continued. All I'd done was offering Eric some needed comfort, but perhaps that wasn't what Eric wanted or needed. "But maybe I was wrong … perhaps I'll better go …"

I was just about to get up, and leave, when Eric grabbed my hand, stopping me in my tracks. The way he held on to it was … desperate?

"Please," I heard him plead. "Don't leave … at least not yet."

I was stunned, but somewhat pleased at the same time. I retook my seat next to Eric and placed my other hand on top of our entwined hands. The cold of his skin wasn't unfamiliar or unpleasant.

"Okay, Eric … I'll stay." I conceded, sighing in relief, because I would feel bad if I'd just left him alone.

We sat in silence for some minutes. I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent until Eric was ready to talk, if that was what he wanted to do.

"Godric was a coward." Eric blurted out all of the sudden.

First I was shocked by his sudden outburst, but maybe I was sort of expecting him to react in that way, I was quickly able to steady myself.

"Do you really think that?" I replied, calmly and sympathetically. I wasn't surprised that Eric thought that Godric's choice had been that of a coward. I couldn't concur with his assessment. In my opinion, taking that kind of step showed a great deal of courage.

"What else am I supposed to think? Committing suicide … it's such a spineless way to go for a vampire … especially for one like him." Eric seethed. It wasn't hard to miss the distaste for Godric's choice of death, because it was written all over his face.

I tried to understand it, but it wasn't easy. I was no vampire after all.

"You were offering to go with him …" I reminded him, voicing it carefully, not sure how he would react to my judgment.

"That's different!" Eric retorted with a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

He suddenly let go of my hand … I hadn't noticed that he had been holding it the whole time … but with it gone, I realized that I had been far too comfortable with him being so close, far too comfortable than I should have been. I had a boyfriend after all … a boyfriend who was probably waiting impatiently for my return …

Eric had gotten up, and all but stumbled to the nearest chair and sat down. I didn't understand his action, but allowed it wordlessly. Maybe he needed some space to calm himself down.

"Why? Because the reason why you would have done it would have been love?" I asked, wording the question very carefully. I wasn't trying to antagonize him further, but trying to help Eric comprehend Godric's decision.

"Yes!" Eric said, poised.

His answer made me smile. His pride was clouding his perception. I cocked my head to the side, cautiously sharing my point of view. "Maybe for Godric love had been a motive too …"

Eric seemed to be shocked by my evaluation. "You think he did it out of _love_? Love for whom? The _humans_?"

_Oh, oh …_

I held one of my hands up in defiance. "I think it is just a part of the reason why he'd chosen to die. Didn't you hear what he'd said at the meeting … and even before that … in the church? He was trying to reconcile with the human kind … To make things better not only for himself but for all of us.

"I think it was a noble gesture … but the way he wanted to prove his point … well I'm sure you'd probably heard what I'd told Godric …" I said, refraining from repeating the words.

"Mmmh, if you put it that way … Maybe I didn't know him as well as I thought." Eric mused, shaking his head in sadness. How could he doubt himself? And his relationship with Godric?

_Everybody keeps his secrets …_

"I don't think that's true … I believe he'd hid this part of him from everybody around him, not just you." I pointed out, in a reassuring way.

"But why?" Eric asked, still not able to recognize what was right in front of him.

"Isn't it obvious? He was afraid someone would talk him out of it." I concluded.

"You mean to knock some sense into him!" Eric corrected me, laughing half-heartedly, but apparently my explanation was able to make some sense to him … finally.

And it was just well-timed, because just then I realized that there was blood running from his ears.

"Oh, Eric …" I exclaimed, startling him by my sudden outburst of terror. "You're bleeding."

Eric obviously hadn't realized it happening, or he'd simply ignored it.

"Perhaps we should continue this conversation at another time." I suggested, because I was sure it was best if he would rest now. "Come on, time for bed."

Eric took my hand again, and let my help him onto the bed. As soon as he hit the mattress, he was out … dead for the day. He looked more peaceful than he'd looked the whole night.

"Oh, Eric," I breathed wistfully, tracing my fingers over his cheek. "What am I going to do with you?"

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**A/N Cliffhanger … hmm … I'm bad, I know. Next chapter the secret will be lifted. What did Sookie do while Eric was sleeping … hmmm … any thoughts?**


	6. Desire

**A/N Well … thank you guys for reading and reviewing, and thus supporting this story. I won't say much more … I know you guys are pretty anxious to find out what little naughty Sookie had done to our unconscious Viking …**

**So enjoy!!!**

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Desire

Eric's features were visibly more relaxed than before, and I couldn't deny that I liked what I saw. He really was a beautiful man. I laid down next beside him … letting my mind wander …

Actually, if I was truly honest with myself, I had been (physically) attracted to Eric since the first time I'd seen him at his bar Fangtasia. Surely at the time, he'd scared the crap out of me, but I'd been able to conceal that fact from him as well from any other vampire in the bar … at least I hope I'd been successful. Of course at that time I hadn't known much about vampire or their relationship to humans or each other. But it had been very obvious to me from the beginning that Eric stood higher up in the vampire pecking order than Bill. Besides that, I'd quickly realized that Bill wasn't very fond of Eric in general. Even now I couldn't fully comprehend the reasons behind Bill's aversion … apart from the obvious fact that Bill saw Eric as his rival, who was trying to take me away from him. God, I hated their possessive behavior sometimes … like I was a prize or something.

Only two days ago I would have thought that the possibility of this happening at all was simply preposterous, that Eric would never win me over … but now …

Of course, I'd always been aware that Eric desired _me_ … my blood, my body and not to mention my gift … and most of the times I' been only amused and maybe a little flattered by that fact, but I'd never considered the possibility that _my_ feelings of dislike and distrust towards Eric would ever change. But since he'd tricked me into drinking his blood and I had this disturbing … confusing … and totally incredibly arousing dream about him, I couldn't deny my (sexual) desire for him any longer …

Bill had warned me, that I would feel sexual attraction towards Eric and at the time of course I'd dismissed the warning, because it was simply improbable to me. I loved Bill and I saw no chance in hell that I would actually feel anything for Eric … besides my usual annoyance and distrust.

Oh boy, had I been wrong. If it simply was physical attraction, that would be only half as bad, but after tonight … after witnessing a totally new, and most important an unexpected side of Eric … a side of him that was vulnerable and sweet … a side that not even Bill had allowed himself to show to me … I was simply confused. I knew I had to fight this, whatever this was …

But then I also knew these were special circumstances that had allowed me to witness this side of Eric. I expected that it won't take Eric long to return to his former self, a ruthless, mean, vindictive vampire who despised humans. But a small part of me hoped that this sad event had some effect on his personality … which was probably just wishful thinking.

Anyway … I still had a lot to learn considering the fact that I was still a newbie in the vampire society, but the information I'd already been able to gather in these past few days made it a little easier to see reason behind some of Bill's or Eric's decisions as well as their reactions. Of course, it was a lot to take in at once for a mere human like me … and as fascinating and illuminating as it all was, at the same time some of the facts had frightened me.

Bill had never mentioned his maker before, so he had never felt the need to explain the special relationship between a maker and his children (and vice versa) to me. Come to think of it, Bill had barely told me anything about his kind and vampire rules … only when he'd had no other choice.

_So much for truthfulness in our relationship …_

Maybe he'd meant well, by not scaring me away … but by now he should have known that I was able to deal with pretty much everything … from surprises to threats. I was tougher than I looked. But I had to admit, that I sort of understood why he'd never told me about Lorena … meeting her was enough to comprehend his distaste for her, even though she was his maker.

_His maker …_

I still couldn't fully comprehend the fact that Eric of all vampires had such an intense relationship with his maker. To see Eric with Godric … and recognizing the depth in their bond (even before tonight), the true devotion … it had surprised me to no end. Who would have thought that Eric was capable of feeling something like love?

_Not me!_

I suddenly flashed back to me dream from last night … Eric and me … naked on the bed … talking … and then …

_But it had been only a dream._ I reminded myself. _My mind playing tricks on me, making me hope for something that is simply impossible. Or isn't it? Maybe we both have undisclosed desires in our hearts … desires that will come out eventually … but even though … I'm with Bill …_

I didn't know how long I had been lying there next to Eric … I was just glad that I hadn't fallen asleep. I pulled myself up in a sitting position, taking a look at Eric. There was still blood smeared all over his face, and even his shirt had gotten stained. I didn't know exactly why … but I wasn't going to leave him like that.

I went in the bathroom to retrieve a clean towel and a wet washcloth. I carefully slid back on the bed, thus trying to avoid disturbing Eric in his sleep. But he didn't budge or twitch … like he was actually dead (which he technically was). I still wasn't used to be close to a sleeping vampire … so far Bill hadn't allowed me to spend his nights with him at home … only here in this hotel he obviously felt save enough … as did Eric for that matter.

_He really must trust me … letting me stay here with him … while he's sleeping … while he's helpless … Weird!_

I moved closer and began to wash his face very gently. I was just about to take of his ruined shirt, when I hesitated for a moment.

_What am I thinking? Taking off Eric's clothes … well … I'm not doing this to see him naked … of course not … just being considerate …_

With that rational reason in mind I gently pulled off Eric's shirt, thus exposing his perfect chest. Right in this moment I was so glad that Eric was unconscious, because I surely was gaping at what I saw. Before I could stop myself I traced the muscles of his chest with my fingers …

_Stop that …_ I scolded myself, and quickly pulled the eiderdown over him, covering his body up. But even though I knew it was wrong … before I slid of the bed, I placed a quick, but gentle kiss on his lips.

Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me again, but I thought that I'd heard him sigh. There even was a little, sort of sweet smile on his face. Had he noticed my slip in self-control? I truly hoped that he hadn't.

_Hey, I'm a woman … and I'm not blind … and I'm entitled to have sexual fantasies … as long as I don't act on them … again …_

I draw in a gulp of air to steady myself and I almost reluctantly left Eric's bedroom. I quickly returned the washcloth and towel back to the bathroom, and then I was out of his hotel room.

By the time I finally made my way back to my own hotel room … to my boyfriend Bill … I was pretty tired. It had been a very long day … for so many reasons. Fortunately, Bill was already deep asleep when I entered the bedroom. There weren't any signs (no blood stains) that he'd tried to stay awake, to wait for my return … I sighed in relief.

I was not sure what to make of it, but I was simply too tired to ponder over this right then, or even to take a shower, so I just took off my dress and slipped under the eiderdown, to join Bill. Seconds later, I fell asleep.

_____________

**A/N So … what? Good, bad, disappointed? Let me know!**


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